A mother dying of cancer is praying for more time with her children because she regrets not spending more time with them—she homeschooled—but she liked to stay busy. We don’t know how long we have to live out our life. Most of us expect to live a long life, but only God who numbered our days knows how long we have to live. “So teach us to number our days, that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom” (Ps. 90:12).
Noah Webster defines wisdom as “the right use or exercise of knowledge; the choice of laudable ends, and of the best means to accomplish them. This is wisdom in practice. It is discerning or judging what is most just, proper, and useful, and it is the knowledge and use of what is best, most just, proper, most conducive to prosperity. Practical wisdom is nearly synonymous with discretion. In scripture, wisdom is true religion; godliness; piety; the knowledge and fear of God; and sincere and uniform obedience to His commands. This is the wisdom that is from above.”
If we knew we had only a year left to live, a month, a day: what would we judge to be the most just, proper and useful way to spend our last fleeting moments on earth, and what changes would we make to be wise? How much of our heart would we be taking to the Lord, and exactly what impact would we be leaving behind? This really puts life into perspective!
We all need to stop and ask ourselves what is really important. For most of us, this would encompass our intimate relationship with God, being godly, having a godly marriage, raising godly children, and leading others to our Lord and Savior. We need to take a good look at our lives to see if we are making the best use of our time fulfilling these goals. Then we need to make the changes necessary to keep us heading for the mark, daily saying no to everything that blows us off course. Contrary to the feminist propaganda, we can’t have it all without something or someone suffering.
Prior to my seminar at our conference last year, a new homeschooler wrote a letter to me requesting that I address the importance of spending time with the family and being at home because of the tremendous pressure older homeschoolers were putting on new homeschoolers.
She wrote: “I’ve just begun schooling kindergarten for our oldest daughter. Your references in your article to homeschooling versus social schooling really hit home with us. I feel incredible pressure from fellow homeschool moms to include my children in ‘everything offered to homeschoolers’ outside the home. They make me feel like my children are going to be missing out if they’re not in homeschool play group, homeschool choir and music, and of course the homeschool classes offered at the YWCA, swimming, gymnastics, dance, etc. not to leave out the many choices in classes offered at the learning center.
“We’d like our daughters to have playmates and friends, but we do not want to be caught in the trap of running day after day to activities.
“I think a big problem we’ve seen firsthand is that very experienced homeschoolers encourage all this activity. They’re the ones we count on to give us guidance as we begin this sometimes scary homeschool journey, and they’re the ones leading us into this world of eventual frustration.
“We are going to attend the homeschool conference next week. We plan to attend your 3-part New Homeschoolers Seminar, and it’s our hope that you’ll address this issue during your seminar. We really need guidance in this area, and I’m sure many others do also. My only wish is that the veterans themselves could be there to hear the message.”
Do we realize the effect our words and our lives have on others? Are we encouraging our sisters to seek God and His will and to use their time for what is best, most just, proper, and useful for God’s kingdom? What are we doing to our families, and what’s worse: how is it affecting a host of other families?
Are all activities wrong? No! But there must be a balance in all things. We must set our sights back on Christ and allow Him to direct our footsteps. Is He Lord over our time, over our lives? Then we must give it back to Him and allow Him to direct. We must allow Him to help us limit our activities to what’s most beneficial to our children and to our life at home.
If we sat back and looked at our lives through God’s eyes, would we be as grieved as I believe He is at the bizarre lifestyles we’ve adopted? No different from the world, we’ve been sucked into the whirlwind of deceit that our children need (and we need) a multitude of activities. So like labor pains, life’s activities have become so intense—with no real rest in between—that we are not conscious of time. We are just getting through the next thing.
Our busy schedules dictate our lives in direct rebellion to God: “So teach us to number our days that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom.” “Keep seeking the things above … Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” (Col. 3:1,2). “For wisdom is better than rubies; and all things that may be desired are not to be compared to it” (Prov. 8:11).
“For the grace of God has appeared … instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus; who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds. These things speak and exhort and reprove with all authority” (Tit. 2:11-15).
“Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matt. 6:33). “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matt. 5:16).
Are we showing the world how to have a godly home and how to raise godly children, or are we showing them how to run away? Is the Lord really our Master—over all things? Are we truly disciples of our Lord? Are we taking our orders from Him, or are we living a cleverly disguised counterfeit, justifying the madness as a necessary evil to provide our children with every opportunity the world has to offer, and possibly satisfying our own longing for fulfillment that only God can satisfy? He says, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10).
Time is a precious gift. Do we give our undivided attention to our Lord and to our families whom God gave into our care? There is such a short time to give the world His message, yet when I look at Jesus’ life, I stand in awe of His unhastened walk. He never rushed anywhere or ran after anyone or anything.
Look into the faces of your loved ones. What do you see? Don’t ever underestimate the impact every minute has on your child—for good or for evil or for naught. We have such a limited amount of time, and how we spend it makes all the difference in this world and in the world to come.
When I die I want my children to be comforted by my love for them and all the time I took for them. I want them to remember all the time I spent teaching them, cuddling them, reading to them, playing games with them, looking at them, patting them, smiling on them, knowing how special they were to me. I want them to remember that I made every day a special occasion. I want them to remember all the wonderful family celebrations we shared because our family was something to celebrate—leading their hearts to our family.
I want them to remember the time I took to be with their father, to love him, and care for his needs—leading their hearts to a caring marriage.
I want them to remember the time I spent building our relationship and the time I took to develop relationships with family, friends, and neighbors so that they could enjoy deep relationships with others—leading their hearts to others.
I want them to remember how I took time to help others to walk closer with God and their families—leading their hearts to care for others.
But above all, I want them to remember how I took time to be with our Lord and the time I spent teaching them about God—leading their hearts to Him.
I want them to remember all the time I took to make our house a home—leading their hearts home.
Where are we leading our children’s hearts? We need not feel powerless to set our course straight when we have the power of His presence. “‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ says the Lord” (Zech. 4:6).
The Lord takes delight in us and wants to help us if we but ask. “But if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5). “And this is the confidence which we have before Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us, and if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him” (1 John 5:14,15). “Ask, and it shall be given you … For everyone that asks receives” (Matt. 7:7,8).
“Finally brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil” (Eph. 6:10,11). “For he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him” (Heb. 11:6). “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly” (Ps. 84:11).
The most important decision we will ever make is to number our days that we may present a heart of wisdom to our Lord. Beloved, may we all use every fleeting moment for the glory of God, and may we capture every teachable moment to disciple our children to love their Lord, their parents, their siblings, their homes, and their brothers and sisters in Christ. May we pass on our love for our Father, our home, and our family.
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